I’m not going to do a Sept 11th post, I’m not going to do a Sept 11th post……
……For whatever reason the person who wrote my work schedule on Sept 11th gave me the day off. They also gave me Sept 12th off. People were commuting to work that morning, or getting ready for their day. I was awoken by my girlfriend at the time, who was one of those people getting ready for work. I remember running to the television where I sat on the couch, with a hand over my mouth, whispering “Oh my God”. I’m not religious. Dania was late for work, but she tore herself away to get there. Can you imagine work on a morning like that…? So very pointless. There I was left alone. In the center of the couch. I was left to cry, cry all alone at the magnitude of hatred. I cried, I hyperventilated. I was swallowed up by despair. My mind could not comprehend what I was watching. My life was never to be the same.
I didn’t leave that couch for hours and when I finally did, just to go out and pretend life was normal, I felt like I needed to be back in front of it. I went and got a coffee, I sat on a chair at a table outside, my hand was shaking, my body was numb. Sept. 11th was a dark time for all of us. But there I was alone. I don’t believe I’ve ever been more alone in my life, then during that day, and the days that followed.
Nine years ago, and everyone you talk to today says, “It feels like yesterday”. This day will never leave me, it’s a shadow that haunts my soul. I’m not American, I’ve never been to New York, I don’t know anyone in the military, but that day awoke me to a mankind I will never understand. I can’t remember the world I lived in before Sept. 11, 2001, it seems like it was never there. It was a precursor to the world we live in now.
I’m in a somber, depressed, empty mood today and I don’t care. I flashback to that morning and can’t help feeling the exact same way.
Tags:
Sept 11th
RIP
Thoughts
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